


all i need

by angstonly



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Roommates, kinda??? lmao just in the beginning ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstonly/pseuds/angstonly
Summary: "and!" renjun huffs indignantly. he groans again, this time tugging at his hair hard enough that he feels the pressure on his scalp. "and god, i hate his stupid face and stupid voice and stupid smile and stupid comfortable cuddles and the stupid things i feel because of his stupid self!"donghyuck levels him another look. "are you a fucking child? good god, jun. jaemin just shuts your brain off, doesn't he?"(or: renjun realizes that when anything happens, he always looks for jaemin first)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 109





	all i need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aegyeon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegyeon/gifts).



> happy birthday (and four months of annoying me) to brea !! im breaking my renmin hiatus just for u.
> 
> uuuhh unbeta'd and unedited i just wanted to post b4 i drown in schoolwork lmao

renjun takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, peeking his head in through the cracks. he hates this — he hates being weak, hates being scared, hates needing someone to rely on. he hates this even more because it's so _so_ stupid how terrified he is. it was just a goddamned movie.

his eyes adjust to the darkness in the room, barely making out the shifting figure on the bed. jaemin stirs and then sits up, squinting at him, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. "renjun?" he calls out, voice deep and hoarse. "what's up? is something wrong?"

"i just — " just _what_? renjun cuts himself off, grip on the doorknob tight as his mind races with possible answers that won't make him sound so… _pathetic_. not that jaemin would ever think of him that way. renjun knows he wouldn't; it's one of the things he loves most about him.

"i can't sleep," is what renjun decides on, heart in his throat as he speaks. he doesn't really know how to tell jaemin that he really just wants company. that he'd rather sleep here than go back to his own room, especially when images from the film haunt his thoughts every time he closes his eyes. "i think— i don't know, i just— "

"come here." jaemin interrupts him, yawning out the words as he stretches his arms out towards him. and as soon as he hears it, renjun walks straight inside with hurried steps and practically jumps into jaemin's arms.

jaemin yawns again, pulling the blankets up to cover them both. renjun follows, snuggling close until he can feel jaemin's heart beating against his skin. "thanks." renjun mumbles, heat rising in his face.

"mm," jaemin hums against his hair. "wake me up if you need anything."

 _i won't_ , renjun thinks. _i have all i need right here._

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

renjun is quick to run off and disappear as soon as daylight hits. donghyuck stares at him unimpressed as they meet in the coffee shop, off in their usual table in the corner where people can't bother them. renjun is groaning into his palms as donghyuck snorts at him, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"why are you so bothered by this? it's not like it's the first time you've run to nana when you don't want to be alone."

renjun lifts his head as the words roll around in his head. donghyuck stares back at him, confused by renjun's wide-eyed gaze. "what? please don't tell me you didn't notice." donghyuck continues, taking a sip of his coffee.

and in truth, he really didn't notice. not until right this very second as renjun thinks back to all the times he's wanted company, all the times he's felt afraid, all the times he's wanted someone there. it's always just felt so natural — thinking of jaemin, calling him. so maybe that's why renjun hasn't realized until now that it's always been jaemin his mind runs to first.

"god, i'm supposed to be the smart one," renjun groans, running a hand through his hair. "what the fuck do i even do with this information? what now?"

donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him and throws a hard look his way. "the fuck you mean? it's not a big deal," donghyuck frowns as he sets his coffee down on the table. "you guys are best friends. it's normal to want to run to him first."

renjun shakes his head. "hyuck, no," he sighs. " _we're_ best friends — you and me. jaemin is my roommate and… and…"

"and..?"

"and!" renjun huffs indignantly. he groans again, this time tugging at his hair hard enough that he feels the pressure on his scalp. "and god, i hate his stupid face and stupid voice and stupid smile and stupid comfortable cuddles and the stupid things i feel because of his stupid self!"

donghyuck levels him another look. "are you a fucking _child_? good god, jun. jaemin just shuts your brain off, doesn't he?"

renjun responds by throwing a balled up napkin donghyuck's way, who catches it and throws it back at him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

when he gets home that night, he's greeted by the smell of a freshly-cooked dinner and the sight of jaemin in the apron renjun got him as a housewarming present the first day they moved in together. his heart decides that it's an appropriate time to run races in his chest, increasing in speed as jaemin spins around and smiles at him in that same way he always does. bright, cheerful, warm na jaemin. the perfect person to come home to at the end of a long fucking day.

"you okay?" jaemin calls out to him, worry in his eyes.

it's times like this that renjun hates how well jaemin knows him, how easily jaemin can read him. he doesn't even have to _say_ anything and jaemin magically already knows. on any other occasion, renjun loves it. he loves that he doesn't have to explain himself, loves that jaemin just understands him.

"uh, yeah," renjun nods, taking a bite of the food in the middle of the table. he cringes inwardly at his own response, so unconvincing that he _knows_ jaemin doesn't buy it. "yeah, i just have a lot on mind."

"want to talk about it?" jaemin offers, taking the seat next to him. "i've been told i'm a good listener."

renjun sits on this for a quiet moment, the idea of talking to jaemin about _jaemin_ seems counterintuitive, especially when it's about his own feelings. as easily as jaemin reads renjun, renjun can never truly tell what goes on in jaemin's head. he's both so familiar and puzzling to renjun that he's unsure how he would react to what he's been thinking of since meeting donghyuck in the café.

"hey, you're an affectionate guy, right?" is what renjun decides to say.

jaemin blinks at him, clearly confused. but he nods nonetheless. "yeah? does it bother you?"

"no, not really," he shrugs. "sometimes? i don't know. ha, i don't know where i'm going with this."

jaemin sets his chopsticks down and frowns at him. "reel it back, jun. what made you want to ask?"

renjun wants to stuff his face with food so he doesn't have to talk. between the haze and fog, his brain urges him to say something. _nothing good ever happens by keeping things in_ , it tells him. and he hates how rational he is sometimes because _not_ saying something would be so much easier, so much safer than risking the awkwardness of telling jaemin something he doesn't want to know.

"last night, i guess?" renjun chuckles nervously, picking at a grain of rice stuck to the side of his plate. he hates this — hates being so roundabout, so evasive, so vague. "you'd offer cuddles to everyone, right? it's nothing special since you're an affectionate guy."

silence. a beat passes and renjun wants to fucking die.

"huh." jaemin finally says.

"can you maybe say something else? this is really awkward."

renjun really wants to scream now, especially when jaemin starts laughing in that carefree jaemin way that has renjun shitting hearts and rainbows every time he hears it. he feels his face burn as jaemin looks back at him, smile on his lips, a twinkle in his eyes.

"of course i'd offer cuddles to everyone," jaemin answers. renjun's heart breaks just a little. "but don't think for a second it's nothing special. renjun, it's always special when it's you."

renjun blinks. and again. and again. and again. " _what_?"

"don't be so surprised," jaemin chuckles again, this time with a shake of his head. "i profess my love for you every day and you didn't think i meant it?"

"you profess your love to all of us, don't even start!"

they bicker like this for longer, food now getting cold on the table. but it's so inexplicably them, so inexplicably renjun and jaemin that it just feels like home. he's lost track of what they're talking about at this point, but he doesn't really care. not when the fog lifts every time jaemin laughs, not when his heart sings every time jaemin looks into his eyes. and especially not when everything just feels so _right_ when jaemin gets up from his seat to pull renjun into his arms and tell him words he didn't even know he wanted to hear until that very moment.

"i'm in love with you." jaemin whispers, holding him tightly.

"yeah, well, who wouldn't be?" renjun huffs, wrapping his arms around him in return.

"that is true," jaemin agrees, pulling away to look into his eyes, smiling at him so brightly that renjun thinks it could blind him someday. "guess i have a lot of competition."

"nah," renjun smiles back, all the affection blooming in his chest. "i only ever have eyes for you."

"yeah?"

"yeah," renjun says. "i'm in love with you too."

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](http://twitter.com/scammerjaem) :: [cc](http://curiouscat.me/angstonly)


End file.
